


Gentle Sins

by kylossadist



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Canon Related, Conflicted Kylo Ren, Dom/sub, Dominant Kylo Ren, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Force-Sensitive Reader, Heavy Angst, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Love/Hate, Mild Gore, Original Character(s), Plot, Possessive Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Smut, Top Kylo Ren, reader is a jedi apprentice, reader is slightly gay for her comrade
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:07:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25231393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylossadist/pseuds/kylossadist
Summary: Your goal was to gather intel on the First Order discreetly, but that's easier said than done.Kylo Ren captures you with the complete intent on killing you, the Resistance's most valuable Jedi Apprentice.Your new goal is to persuade Kylo Ren to return to the light again.His goal is to make you his new apprentice, surrendering to the ruthless dark side.Will Kylo go back to the Resistance? Or will you succumb to the dark side?[ contains explicit sexual content, language, and violence ]
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	1. Endangered

Adrenaline. 

That's all you could feel that night. You remember running for what felt like hours, slipping and falling over rocks and crashing into slick, wet mud. Your robes making it difficult to sprint.  
You didn't know where to go or who to go to, you just knew you had to run and get away from there, from him. 

The flames behind you faded away from your vision, darkness enclosing around you.

You slowed your pace, an attempt to conserve some energy. You were running so fast you didn't know where your legs took you, but looking around now, you truly were alone- and lost. 

Panic started to consume your mind. 

That place was your home. And he destroyed it, he destroyed the people you cherished the most. But it wasn't time to mourn their deaths, not now. You had to find shelter, one way or another. 

Hours went by, the sun was nearly up when you finally found a base of some sort. 

Civilization. 

Your legs seamlessly dragged you closer to the base, to your dismay the community was farther than what your blurry and tired eyes perceived. You were so close yet so, so far away. The base appeared large, the closer you got the more you could see minuscule details. Your eye caught onto a small spacecraft with a familiar symbol. 

You've seen that before? 

Before you could recollect your thoughts, a weird sensation filled your head. Total darkness intruded and painted your vision, and your legs started to waver. You were mere feet from the entrance to the base, but your limbs gave out and your lids became heavy. 

No, no, no. 

The last thing you heard was a small frantic voice in the distance.

\---

"Fuck!"

You shot up from your cot, jagged breaths cascading from your lips.

Another nightmare, you thought. 

For the past couple of weeks you've been having constant dreams about that night. The night the temple burned down 6 years ago. You buried the palm of your hands in your eyes, attempting to get the morbid memories out of your mind. You uncovered yourself from the thin blankets and crossed your legs, pondering. 

You remember that night as clear as day, the blood, the horror. That cold- murderous look in his eyes never left your mind. For fuck's sake it was embedded behind your eye sockets, haunting you at the darkest hours. 

You remember finding a small base, but after that it all blurred together. When you awoke the following night, the civilians were at your bedside. To your dismay, you had stumbled upon a secluded Resistance outpost. You had urgently told them you needed to see their leader, Leia Organa. 

Knowing he was her son, you didn't know what he'd do next.

Years later, here you were, sitting in your stiff, old cot. The Resistance has been tracking Kylo Ren, formerly known as Ben Solo, for quite some time. Thinking about him pained you, you weren't sure if he even remembered you- but none of that mattered now. He wasn't your business. He never was.

Let the past die.

A voice in your head ripped you from your thoughts, chilling you. You let out an exasperated sigh and unfolded your legs from underneath you, standing up to get prepared for your day. The night before, General Organa had informed several fighters and pilots, including you, that there would be an important briefing about the upcoming mission.

You rubbed your eyes and trekked towards your compact, portable dresser. You lazily grabbed your everyday garments. You pulled on your white-colored tunic and secured your waist with a thick- worn out belt. You then wiggled your legs into some thin black leggings. 

You had to admit, they'd seen better days. 

The General aided you with new attire years ago, but the Resistance was limited on clothing material, so all of your garments were worn. You crouched down and proceeded to tug on your black, knee-high leather boots. 

After standing up, you stared at the small container holding your lightsaber. You hesitated but hastily grabbed it and placed the hunk of metal and energy in your holster.

You finished getting ready and jogged out of your cramped tent. The sun was already at it's highest peak, suggesting that you slept in.

"General Organa won't be happy about this," You murmured to yourself.

Not wasting anymore time, you sprinted towards the bunker where briefing's were usually held in. The bunker was built into a large mountainous valley, blocking out any light that aimed into the entrance. 

The closer you got the more voices you heard. You weaved through x-wing's and shuttles that concealed the entrance, offering some protection. 

Once inside you followed the voices and walked through a short corridor, leading to the central room. Your eyes found dozens of fighters, pilots, and spies listening to Organa. 

You heard someone whisper your name, looking over you knew exactly who it was.

"Arlo!" You slid in between people, attempting to stand next to her without getting yelled at by the General. "What's all this about?" You questioned quietly.

"No clue," Arlo paused, "the General said it was important, but she's just been babbling on about safety," she rolled her eyes.

You nodded in acknowledgement. "I'm sure it's just another mission to do with smugglers or something." You started spacing out, not bothering to listen to the briefing. You knew what you were doing.

"So, how's training been going?" Arlo peered over at your face, proximity causing color to travel towards your cheeks.

"Um-" you hesitated, "good, it's been challenging but good," you hastily whispered. Arlo had been there for you from the start, she helped you warm up to everyone, she even showed you around the base. After the incident, you often had nights where it was difficult to sleep, and she was there for you, lulling you back to sleep.

You both were polar opposites. She was loud, playful, and brave. You on the other hand were quiet, reserved, and lacked confidence of your skills. But behind her lively exterior, she was passionate about the Resistance, often taking care of injured fighters and participating in many missions. 

You looked over at her and noticed the glimmer on her dark cheeks, she had her curly hair tied up into a loose bun, two strands of hair framing her profile. She was beautiful to say the least, the optimism must've influenced her beauty, you sarcastically thought to yourself. 

She had her usually Resistance jumpsuit on, it consisted of multiple Resistance emblems, the jumpsuit was collared around her neck. 

Without noticing, Arlo had looked over at you with furrowed eyebrows. Your eyes widened, it must have been strange to just be staring at her. You looked away and focused on the briefing once again. Arlo let out an airy chuckle. Some people looked over at the two of you, bothered by your conversation.

You tapped your foot in boredom. When will this be over?

"This mission will be one of the most risky- most dangerous mission we've ever attempted," General Organa proceeded with her words, "we will be assigning a batch of fighters to gather intel on Kylo Ren." 

Your body froze.

"We have tracked him and his warriors on Batuu, a remote planet known for their infamous trading port," the General paused, "we do not know the reason as to why the First Order is there, but we can only assume they are trying to create an alliance with the Batuuan locals."

Everyone around you conversed in hushed side conversations, but you? You just stood there.

Immobilized.

"Please don't pick me," you whispered to yourself.

"I will gather the group of fighters tonight. Be prepared to be called on," General Organa stated with a loud and confident input. "Thank you all for coming and listening to this briefing."

Everyone started to evacuate out of the area, going back to their stations. You and Arlo said your goodbyes, she had to repair an x-wing's reinforced landing leg, so you didn't want to distract her.

You went back to your tent, the trip relatively peaceful and short. A couple of people waved and greeted you, but other than that it was a quiet day on the base. 

You finally got to your tent and opened the hatch. Once inside you calmly sat down on your cot, pondering of what to do for the rest of the day. You scanned the tent for ideas, your doe eyes locked onto a small spherical remote. It was your learning remote you used while training. A little practice didn't hurt anybody? Right? 

You abruptly stood up from your squeaky cot and trekked over to the compact desk that was holding the ball. You picked the heavy sphere up and studied it, you hadn't trained with this thing in awhile.

You walked out of your tent with the remote in your hand and mindlessly sprinted towards the woods, past the base. 

Secluded. A perfect spot for training.

You walked for awhile, but once you found a clearing in the large forest, you scanned the sphere, trying to find a way to turn it on. It has been awhile since you've used it last. Your eyes caught onto a hidden button near the bottom of the remote. 

You pressed down on it.

For several seconds nothing happened, and then the training remote flew out of your small dainty hands, ascending several feet up into the air. You gawked at the device, you only remember using it years ago. 

Your left hand hovered over the hilt of your lightsaber, unsure of what the device was intended to do. You studied the sphere, noticing how it was rotating. 

It was facing towards you.

The device started to produce a low thrumming noise, a red light forming in a microscopic cavity.

Your eyes expanded, "Oh-"

Without finishing your sentence, the ball blasted red particle beam energy towards you. Before reacting, your instincts bolted you out of the way. With a swift turn, you looked towards the remote and followed it's aim. The grass where you were standing was now a burnt, smoking pit. 

The blood from your face drained.

The sphere was facing you again and was advancing forward. You ignited your lightsaber and adjusted your stance, readying yourself for whatever this device had in store for you. Your eyebrows furrowed and your lips turned into a thin line.

"Come on, give me what you got."

Over the 6 years, Leia had taught you so much. She wasn't a Jedi herself, but she knew some tricks up her sleeve. Before the Jedi Temple burning, Luke Skywalker was your master. He taught you, and 24 other force-sensitive apprentices how to wield a saber, and how to use the Force. But most importantly he taught you balance, and that without balance there would be chaos. 

You often feel guilty for leaving that night, you left them. All of them to die at the hands of that monster. You only assumed you were the last survivor. You weren't even sure if Luke was alive. 

You just remembered watching all your comrades being slaughtered in front of you.

Though you were a little younger than Ben, you still got along. He was always quiet, never speaking up for himself or others. You would of never guessed he was turning. 

If only you knew-

A loud blast caught you off guard and interrupted your train of thought. A slight stinging sensation spread throughout your upper leg. A smaller beam had hit you in the leg.

"Oh my sta-" Another blast interrupted your remark. 

You had to get your mind off of things and focus, no playing around. You raised your saber and ran towards the device, using the Force to push yourself into the air and strike the damned sphere. 

It seemed like the Force wasn't on your side today. 

The remote swerved out of the way from you futile attempt at destroying it. You crashed face first into a shuura bush. With a huff you reluctantly stood back up, dusting off the thorns and leaves from your clothing. You looked around, searching for the device, but you couldn't sense nor find it. 

"Hey, uh-" you weren't sure how to get it's attention, "come on out, training remote." You cringed at your own words. 

One lesson learned: never call out to your enemy.

You could hear the ion blast charging up from the remote behind you. Before it could hit you, you briskly turned around and deflected the particle energy, causing the blast to implode on your lightsaber. With a swift motion, you dodged another strike and sprinted towards a large tree, nearly tripping.

You had to ambush this thing, fighting it head on would only cause you more damage. 

You caught your breath, wiping off the sweat beading on your forehead. Small strands of your hair fell in your face, you tucked them behind your ears. 

You closed your eyes.

You honed in on your senses. Focusing on the sound of the wind filtering and weaving through the trees, your breathing, and that damned buzzing noise. You felt your muscles ease up and your eyes flutter open. You lifted your saber symmetrical to your face, steadying it. You could sense the device behind the tree you were hiding next to. 

You counted down, "3, 2, 1..." 

You whipped around and lunged towards the unaware sphere, pushing yourself off the ground. Your arms were held above your head, saber in hand. 

You summoned all the strength in your forearms and sliced right through the remote before it could retaliate.

You landed on your knees and watched the poor training device spark and twitch. Your breathing jagged and arms shaking from exhaustion, you really needed to train more often. 

A wet sensation made impact on your cheekbone. 

You peered up at the sky, it started to rain. The clouds traveled over the sun, blocking it out. You stood there for a few minutes, basking in the dewy rain. You sighed in agitation.

A minuscule, low hum caught your attention from ahead of you. 

You looked forward, cautious. Pushing your foot on the dirt, you lifted your body up from the ground. 

Creeping over to the suspicious sound. 

You squinted your eyes, an attempt to see what was in front of you. You got several feet closer and the sound only got louder. You looked around, seeing if anyone- or anything was around. You turned your head and clasped your hands around your ears, the clamor hurting your eardrums. 

You got closer to the humming, still searching around. You grew frustrated and confused, the pouring rain not helping. Your eyes seized something on the ground a couple yards away. 

You jogged towards the suspect of noise, eyes widening.

The low ringing came to an abrupt stop. The rain, the wind, the nature. It all cancelled out from your hearing. Your hands started to shake. You couldn't make out what you were looking at. A black mass? It was moving and squirming around. Quite frankly it looked and smelled like death. Was it a rotting animal? The mass started to create a small sinkhole in the mud.

"What is th-" 

These are your first steps.

You fell to the ground, your heart nearly jumping out of your chest. A guttural voice rang in your head, repeating those words. That voice, it sounded so, so familiar. It almost sounded like-

Someone was calling your name. Arlo.

"What are you doing up here? It's pouring out!" She yelled from afar. 

You whipped your head in her direction, face smeared with dirt. You must of looked awful judging by the change in her expression. 

"I was training, that's all!" You yelled back, voice wavering for a second. "I'll be back down, just give me a minute."

She hesitated but nodded and made her way back down the hill, back to the base. 

You turned your head back to where the black mass was. 

But it wasn't there anymore. 

It didn't leave a residue or stain. Nothing. You must have been sleep deprived or something, this couldn't be happening. What was that voice? What did it mean? 

"These are your first steps," you repeated in question. "First steps to what?"

You rubbed your eyes and smeared your hair out of your face, an attempt to recompose yourself. But it didn't help. The voice. The dark mass. It wouldn't get out of your thoughts. You placed your lightsaber back in it's holster, deciding to walk back to the base. 

You can't dwell on this, not now, not before a mission. 

The rain had let up, making it easier to climb down the hill. You placed one foot on the slope and the other on a sturdy rock, giving you some stability. Your hands grasped onto a thick root sticking out from the mud. You peered down to see where you could step next, but before you could think, your right foot slipped and triggered your body to jolt. 

Your leg gave out and caused you to fall onto the ground below you.

"Oh my stars, as if this day couldn't get any worse," you harshly scolded at yourself. 

You stood up and looked down at your dirty clothing. Your white tunic was now a filthy shade of brown, full of leaves and mud. Sighing, you proceeded towards the base. You needed to clean yourself up.

The sun was setting by the time you got to your tent. "Home, sweet home," you groaned. You grabbed a clean pair of clothes and trekked over to the public showers. 

You slipped into the showers and started to undress yourself, groaning at the sight of blood and mud that painted your skin. You set your clothes on a nearby bench and stumbled into a shower stall, turning on the cold water. Goosebumps decorated your limbs, but you ignored it, you were used to it. 

You hummed to yourself as you washed off all the mud and blood from your legs and arms. 

You stood under the icy water, allowing the light, small streams fall over your shoulders and onto the swell of your breasts, eventually splashing onto the tile floor. Your eyes fluttered shut, basking in the comfortable silence.

A rustle behind you reached your ears, interrupting the peaceful tranquility. Your eyes opened ever so slightly, your attention focused on the intrusion. 

"Who's there?" Your voice wavered, you reviled yourself for sounding so vulnerable. This wasn't like you, but today was full of so many threatening surprises, you couldn't help but sound endangered. 

Another rustle.

A shadow made it's way in front of your shower stall, your heart's pace quickened. The shadow of a hand lifted up towards the edge of the shower curtain.

"Hey-" You tried to object.

Before you could stop them the curtain was swung open, revealing no one other than your good friend, Arlo.

"What the fuck, Arlo!" You interjected in shock and anger. You attempted to conceal your most exposed areas.

"Oh come on, it's just me," Arlo replied with sass, "plus I've seen all of you before, you don't have to hide." She let a giggled slip from her lips.

"Oh my stars," blood rushed to your cheeks. "So what are you doing here? To tease me?"

Arlo shrugged, rolling her neck back and forth. "I was bored, but I also wanted to talk to you about something." Her eyes scanned your body, you felt embarrassed. 

Arlo stepped under the shower head, letting the water weigh down her curls.

You hummed in response, waiting for her to speak again.

"About the mission tomorrow," she paused, "you're aware General Organa will choose you? I mean you are our best fighter, most trusted as well."

Your eyes locked with hers, the air felt like it was restricting you. 

Fuck.

"I'm prepared for what's to come, don't worry," you assured her. Arlo was always the type of companion to think of her friends first, putting herself last. You were both completely aware that you weren't trained nor strong enough to go against a living, breathing enemy. Though you have trained for years, the First Order was no joke and both of you knew that, shamefully. 

Her hand rested on your bare shoulder, offering comfort, as if she could sense your self-doubting. Her lips curved up into a pitiful smile.

Her unoccupied hand lifted up and skimmed your forearm. Goosebumps littering your skin.

You couldn't tell if it was just because you both were naked or what, but something was different. About her. About you.

You stepped closer to her, mere inches from her body. You didn't understand why you were doing this.

The hand on your shoulder moved, lowering down towards your collarbone. Dangerously close to your breasts. Her index finger started tracing shapes and lines on your smooth, untainted skin. 

"Arlo-" Your breathing labored.

"Shh," her eyes glimmered with an unknown emotion. Her finger still traced around your collarbone, but didn't dare to ascend any lower. Your eyes admired her hand, you then trailed up to her face. She was staring at you, with that same hidden glimmer.

She took a deep breath and placed her entire hand above your breast, just barely touching you.

Your mind couldn't comprehend what happened next. 

Her facial expression darkened. Her hand ascended painfully slow, grazing the swell of your breast. The hand that was skimming your forearm was now placed on your hip, squeezing ever so tightly. 

You could hear her heavy, delayed breathing.

Her soft fingertips brushed your hardening nipple. Her hand started to lightly cup your breast, eliciting a soft hum from you.

The hand on your hip slowly ascended onto your thigh, then towards your heat.

Your eyes fluttered closed, in pure bliss. You were too relaxed to care about what you were doing.

Her soft hand reached your heat, middle finger lightly teasing your clit. She did this for a few minutes, tension building between the both of you. 

Something pulled you from your pleasure. "Arlo, we can't do this," you panicked.

Her hands quickly left your body. "I'm-" her voice was quick and quivering, "I'm so sorry." Her eyebrows furrowed, she started biting her lip. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything," she frantically spoke. "I don't know what's got into me."

You pitied her, but you didn't want to ruin your friendship with her. "It's alright, we're both just stressed and need some sleep," you trailed off, voice lowering. You felt nauseous, not from what just happened, but what's to come after.

She nodded her head, looking down. She backed away from you and slid past you, leaving the stall you both occupied.

You stood there frozen for what felt like forever.

Sighing, you got back under the water. You heard rustling of clothes and the door closing shut, indicating her departure. Something was off about her today. From what just happened, to her close proximity at the briefing earlier today. It wasn't like her. This wasn't like you. 

What in the galaxy is happening.

You groaned and turned off the water, you've had enough showering for today.

You opened the shower curtain and carefully stepped out, trying not to slip on the wet tile. You walked over to a tall closet in the corner where they kept towels, you opened it and hastily grabbed a large towel. You shuffled over to the bench where you left your clothes and dried off, proceeding to put on your clothes. You ran your hands through your hair, a futile attempt to get the knots out.

You quietly opened the door of the shower room, hoping no one was awake at this hour. You sneaked off towards your beloved tent. The trip was short but it felt like an eternity. Once you got to your tent, you heard a familiar voice over the intercom. General. 

"Will the following Resistance fighters and spies come to my office," the General stated.

You waited at the opening of you tent until you heard your name being called. 

Of course.

You sighed and turned around to make your way towards the General's office. So much for sleeping. You blocked out the several names that she was enlisting to the mission, you just wanted this over.

You got to the entrance of her spacious office, there were 3 other fighters already there. Caius, Kasen, and Zinnia. You knew them, but you were only acquainted. Zinnia had long hair braided into a ponytail, her stature was muscular, almost masculine and tall, very tall. Caius on the other hand was petite, short and had hair that reached the peak of his ears. Kasen had clear, beautiful ebony skin, his hair was short, and his height was around the same as Zinnia's.

You took a step into the room and noticed General standing behind her desk, polite as ever. The lamp in the corner of the room cascaded an orange glow on her skin.

"Good evening, General Organa," you gave her a tight smile, attempting to show her some respect. You looked at the other fighters and spies in the room and returned a greeting.

The door clicked open and revealed the final person to be assigned this mission.

Arlo.

You glanced over your shoulder and noticed her, quickly turning your head, avoiding any eye contact. She greeted everyone, except you. She took a stand next to Kasen, and started making small talk, but quieted down when the General began speaking.

"As you heard on the announcement, you all are enlisted to complete the mission on Batuu," Organa paused, "your job is to discreetly collect information on Kylo Ren and the First Order. You will be disguised in Batuuan attire."

Everyone nodded in understanding, waiting for her to continue.

"If the First Order finds out we are spying on them, it will be fatal," General Organa continued once again, "for all of you."

You exchanged concerned looks from everyone, but not from Arlo. She was looking at the General, focused.

"I expect all of you to gather intel on what the First Order- what Kylo Ren, is planning to do with Batuu, as it is a valuable for many reasons." Organa gave a stoic look towards you. "You will have 2 days to gather information. Once finished, a shuttle will transfer you all back to the base, safe and sound."

"What will happen if someone get's caught?" Zinnia questioned.

"If you do get caught, the last resort will be to fight or flee," the General replied.

Flight or flee.

"You will be transferred to Batuu tomorrow morning." Organa discussed a few more vital instructions and then dismissed everyone.

Before you walked out the door, General called out to you.

"Yes?" You turned your body around and walked towards her.

She waited until you were directly in front of her to speak, "this will be the most important mission you have done yet."

You swallowed and nodded in acknowledgement.

"I am trusting you to protect your comrades, to keep them safe," she whispered. A warm smile spreading across her aged face. "I know you will be able to do this, you have the great ability to blend in and protect," she reassured.

"Thank you, General Organa," you beamed.

"I don't expect you to talk to Kylo Ren, no, but if possible- try to discover any personal information about him," Leia continued.

"I will do one's utmost."

She nodded and dismissed you discreetly.

She must miss her son, dearly, you notioned.

You were walking out of her office when you noticed a figure blocking the exit. You got closer and distinguished who it was.

"Arlo," you let out an exasperated sigh.

"I just wanted you to know nothing was personal back at the shower's," she halted, "I was tired."

You felt a slight pang in your chest. Why?

"I told you it was alright, Arlo," you replied sternly, "can we just forget what happened? Please."

She hesitated before nodding her head. She trekked over to you and closed the space between you both, hugging tightly. You rested your head on her shoulder and smiled.

"Good luck out there, Apprentice," she teased.

You laughed and pushed her away, "I should get some rest and so should you."

She reluctantly nodded and made her way outside before stopping in her tracks, "goodnight."

"Goodnight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading the first chapter of Gentle Sins! Feedback is appreciated.


	2. I'll See You Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _I was painting a picture_   
>  _The picture was a painting of you_   
>  _And for a moment I thought you were there_   
>  _But then again, it wasn't true._   
>  _And all this time I have been lying_   
>  _Oh, lying in secret to myself_   
>  _I've been putting sorrow on the farthest place on my shelf._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: Graphic depictions of violence. Mentions of drugs and alcohol.
> 
> I'd also like to mention that I describe the reader as 'small' compared to Kylo only because most people are smaller than him. I am in no way trying to exclude any body types!

The sweet sound of rain gently hitting your tent awoke you from your slumber. It was nearly 0700 in the morning.

_Today was the day._

You groaned as you tossed and turned in your worn out cot, reluctant to get out of bed. You settled on laying on your back, gazing up at the cloth separating you from the light rain pouring down from the sky. You just wanted to sleep in for one goddamn day. You closed your eyes and listened in on the crickets chirping from outside and the crowd of people talking amongst themselves. 

You felt at ease.

For some reason you knew this mission would be different than the others. You sensed it _deep_ within yourself. In all likelihood it was because this was the closest you'd be next to the First Order. In the past, your assignments consisted of directing your comrades through their missions via datapads and such. You've _never_ gone on any missions like this one, nothing this risky and dangerous. The General was always keen on protecting you, even though both of you knew you could protect yourself to a certain extent.

You inhaled the dewy air, feeling one with the elements.

Your eyes fluttered back open, adjusting to the natural lighting. You tore the thin blankets off yourself and lifted your body up to get ready. You swung your legs off the cot and stood up slowly, body still sore from training yesterday. Rolling your shoulders back, you paced around your room, pondering. 

The rain had stopped, causing silence to fill your tent.

Walking over to your small dresser you started to take off your overnight tunic, closing your eyes in the process.

"Hey, little Jedi," a far too familiar voice reached your ears.

You jumped, turning around and covering yourself in the action. "Again? Really?" You screeched at Arlo in anger. "There's such thing called privacy, Arlo."

She let out a small laugh, her face etching with the same emotion from last night. _Ah._

Hurt.

"Sorry, I've just been on edge lately," you apologized sincerely. "Come. Get comfortable, just let me get dressed and we can talk." You turned back around.

"No, no it's alright," Arlo looked around the small tent. "I just thought we could go by the mess hall and grab something to eat, ya know- before we depart."

While putting on your beige blouse you looked over your shoulder, acknowledging her. "Sure, that's fine with me." Things were still awkward and tense between the two of you. You knew it was only natural, but it felt so wrong- so different.

Slipping on a pair of black trousers, you unknowingly furrowed your eyebrows in thought. General Organa had specifically instructed everyone to wear Batuuan style clothing, as a way to blend in. The Batuuan locals normally wore earthy toned attire that concealed most of their bodies. To keep your identity safe you chose to put a brown cowl on over your shoulders, hiding the top half of your face. You straightened out your back, confirming you were all ready. Grabbing your lightsaber, you tucked it in between your trousers, making sure it was concealed.

Looking over at Arlo you noticed she was admiring a small pin that was resting near your bedside. "My mother gave me that when I was young," you stated. Arlo was fully aware of your past.

"This is really beautiful," Arlo exclaimed softly, attempting to make you feel better. The pin had a small flower carved into it, a lilac. She let out a quiet hum. "All right let's cut the sappy shit," she paused, "let's get going."

You could tell she was uncomfortable talking about your past, aware it was a touchy subject. You never had a father figure, your mother being the only one to care and nurture you. You didn't remember much from your childhood, none of it piecing together veraciously. You could only recall visions of your mother, the warmth of her hand, the way she'd hug you after a long day, her pleasant laugh. 

Then one day she just- let you go, never giving you an explanation.

She had given you up to a foundling home, leaving immediately- almost as if she was _running_ from something. The discovery of you being force-sensitive led the orphanage to transfer you to the infamous temple. If only your mother-

A hand on your shoulder yanked you from your thoughts. 

"We really need to get going," Arlo's face was etched with worrisome. "Let's talk about whatever is on your mind at the cafeteria," she gave you a sympathetic smile.

You nodded curtly. Arlo placed her hand on your lower back, motioning you to move forward. You both stepped out of your tent, finally getting fresh air. The sky was still cloudy from the drizzle earlier, leaving an overcast on the base. Hearing the geejaws chirp and the wind filtering through the tall trees coaxed you back to reality, your mind and body becoming one again. 

You passed by numerous comrades, greeting them out of respect. Arlo was more outgoing, she kept sparking conversations with them. After several minutes you just had to cut into their talk. "All right, Arlo. Can we please get going?" You anxiously interrupted her chat with- what was his name? Ajax? Lycus? Whatever it was it didn't matter, you just wanted to go grab some damn breakfast.

"Oh! Sorry," she ceased, "you're probably starving," her body facing directly at you. "I'll talk to you later, Seth," she dismissed herself, walking past you.

_So that's what his name was. Close enough._

_\---_

Your mouth was nearly drooling when you finally got to the mess hall. The cafe was an open room, large in size. Both you and Arlo scurried towards the food line, practically grabbing everything off the line. You resolved on ordering kodari rice, a date, and a bowl of lamito The two of you settled on sitting near the entrance of the building, placing your food on the table. You decided to sit across from Arlo. You both dug into your meals, eating like savages.

Arlo paused from eating. "So what was up with you earlier?" She questioned, voice soft.

"What do you mean?" Fruitlessly trying to avoiding the topic.

"You know what I'm talking about," she hesitated, "don't play dumb with me, not now."

For the first time you looked up from your tray of food. "Can we please not talk about this? It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?" She raised her voice, dropping her spoon, "you've been secluding yourself from me. In the tent this morning, you zoned out," she paused, "for fuck's sake your hands were shaking."

You couldn't keep everything from her, you knew this. "I've just had a lot on my mind lately-" you looked down at your tray, "that's all."

She let out an exasperated sigh, staring at you in thought. Her hand reached out to yours, lightly rubbing it, "you can tell me anything."

Your eyes shot up at her, surprised by the gesture. It felt like centuries until you said something. "My mother," you halted, "I've been thinking about her more often than usual. There's too many unexplained things about her that I can't understand," you looked down at her hand atop of yours. She moved her head closer to you, listening to you. 

_Only you._

"It's nothing to become worried about though, I can't expect you to be able to comprehend this-"

"No, no I understand, I'm listening- please," she hastily persisted.

You reluctantly continued, "she was a nobody, she worked at a cantina for galaxy's sake," removing your hand from under hers, resuming your breakfast. "I just want to know why she _left_ me- out of no where."

She lifted her hand to scratch the back of her neck, unsure. "I-I'm so sorry," voice low and sincere.

"Forget it," looking back up at her. "She left me and I just need to accept that."

"You'll know one day," she gave you a sweet, homely smile.

_She was your only home._

"You've barely touched your food," you curtly paused, trying to change the subject, "eat."

"Eat," she mimicked your tone of voice, but picked up a spoon full of vegetables with an endearing pout. You giggled as she struggled to chew her greens.

_It's moments like this, you wish time would never stopped._

You smiled at yourself and picked up your spoon, grabbing more rice from your tray. If life wasn't so complicated maybe you and Arlo could've traveled somewhere in the galaxy, living out your wildest dreams. But life was not fair- it was cruel and unforgiving and cold, ripping everything and everyone from your grasp. Maybe if the temple didn't burned down- and you completed your training, you could have been a Jedi, traveling the Outer Rim and protecting innocent lives. 

But because of _him_ that dream never came true.

You rolled your eyes in frustration, finishing up your pitiful meal. Arlo was still eating.

"I hope," you slowly spoke, "I hope you know how much you mean to me, Arlo." For some reason your heart was racing, aching from the unresolved tension.

She looked up at you with doe eyes, cheeks flushed. "I'm glad to have met you, good friend." 

_Good friend._

A comfortable silence fell upon you both. For an unknown reason you sensed this mission was unlike any other, it had something in store for you. And that chilled you to the core.

Noticing Arlo had finished eating, you abruptly got up. Both of you strode towards the trash compactor near the corner of the hall.

"It's nearly time to go." Arlo exclaimed, "we're supposed to aboard the transporter by 0900."

Lifting up your wrist, you looked down at your watch. You had ten minutes. Stepping out of the cafeteria, you both ushered towards the docking bay. The clouds had moved out out the way, letting the sun peak through. The trees swayed back and forth with the gentle wind. 

Everything felt so _alive_.

You glanced over at Arlo, who was admiring the scenery as much as you were. Almost a little more. Her eyes beamed at the liveliness of the base, radiating contentment. _Cute._

Arlo's voice interrupted your thoughts. "After this mission- if the General allows us," she peered over at you, twiddling her curly hair in her fingers. "I want to go somewhere, travel with you."

Your eyes enlarged with interest. "Like where?"

"Naboo." She blatantly responded with. "I heard ancient stories about Naboo. There was once this beautiful queen- almost as beautiful as the planet itself who ruled. The planet thrived it's most during the Galactic Republic era. It's still vastly popular, they have beautiful mountains and forests."

"That sounds lovely," you beamed at her. "We'll go there one day, hopefully."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

Arlo giggled, throwing her arm around your shoulder. "Oh! I also heard they have delicious food, too." 

This time you let out a giggle. "Now you're really making me want to go." She nuzzled her head into the side of your face. "Okay, okay get off me you big oaf," blushing in the process. "We really need to hurry up and get to the transport before they leave without us," you half sarcastically exclaimed.

"Ah we'll be fine." Arlo shook her head. "See! The docking bay is right up ahead." She lifted her finger and pointed forward.

Your eyes followed to where her finger was pointing. _Ah_.

Once you got to the docking bay, you began to search for the transport shuttle. "We're looking for the RM-09 class shuttle." There were too many shuttles and starfighters to distinguish from.

"Over here!" Arlo was several feet ahead of you.

You jogged over towards her, the transporter coming into your line of sight. You both exchanged looks before heading onto the ship. Inside the ship it was spacious, allowing lots of leg room. It seemed that Arlo and you were the last ones to board- as you saw Zinnia, Kasen, and Caius sitting down- intensely staring at you both.

_Scary._

You nudged Arlo and directed her over towards the corner of the shuttle where a cramped booth was lodged next to a window. Once you both got situated, the pilot gave a curt thumbs up and started the engine, proceeding to click a bunch of buttons that made nonsense to you. The transporter started to rumble, accelerating in speed. Looking out the window you could see the abyss of space come into view, millions of stars and planets littering the black void.

_Here we go._

The shuttle finally lifted off and expedited into the Outer Rim.

You felt something press against your shoulder. Arlo was resting her head on you, lightly snoring. You let a subtle smile reach your lips. Turning your head you watched from the window, you relaxed and adjusted for the long ride. The General never said how long the trip would be, but Batuu was on the other side of the Outer Rim from D'Qar. It would take hours to get to the final destination.

You looked back at Arlo, who was still sleeping soundly. Positioning yourself, you rested your head atop of Arlo's. You needed some rest- and you needed to pass some time. The low rattling and humming sound of the shuttle lulled you into a deep slumber, eyes fluttering closed. The soft feeling of Arlo's dark hair against your cheek made you feel giddy. 

She was such an angel.

\---

Thunder.

You felt the rumble of the ground wake you. Your eyes shot open, startled. It was cold and wet, an unwelcoming amount of rain poured over you, soaking your clothes and hair. You looked around your surroundings.

This wasn't Batuu- and this most certainly _wasn't_ the shuttle.

A gut wrenching feeling dropped in your stomach. You knew exactly where you were. You struggled to get up, muscles aching. Lifting one foot off the ground you pushed yourself up, rubbing your eyes and adjusting to the darkness. Embers pasted by you, skimming your delicate skin.

_Flames._

Flames reflected in your eyes. You lifted your head and looked up.

_The temple._

It was burning down, wood planks and brick collapsing and caving in. It was happening all over again. You heard screams of agony, seeking desperate help. You had to do something but you couldn't move, legs locked in place.

But something pulled you in, it had an intoxicating effect on you. Your leg shakily lifted up, taking one step forward. Then another step. And another. And another. And another until you were at the blocked entrance of the temple. A heavy piece of burning wood was blocking you out from saving those hopeless lives. You had to find a way in.

Walking around the temple, you went to secondary entrance. _There had to be a way in._

To your dismay the entrance was completely caved in, brick and clay covering your only way inside. You backed up, attempting to get a decent view of your options. The rain only got more violent, the lightning and thunder constantly resonating around the temple. You felt the pent up frustration flush out of you, your eyes shutting closed to keep the tears from rolling down. 

But it didn't help.

Tears poured from your eyes, sweeping onto your cheeks and collecting around your nose and mouth. Opening your eyes you tried to compose yourself, you couldn't stop now. Not when those morbid screams continued to invade your hearing. Looking around you noticed eroding brick next to the entrance, crumbling. 

_Perfect._

You threw your body forward, tripping and falling as you sprinted towards the possible opening. Your body collapsed onto the ground, crawling to the brick wall. Your fingers worked faster than your brain could comprehend. You didn't care that your nails were being peeled off or that your hands were bleeding from the rough clay. All you cared about now was _saving_ those souls. You pushed the clay forward and clawed at it, an attempt to create a large enough entrance to climb through. 

_It was working._

Your hands hastily continued to dig at the bricks, pushing and grabbing at the crumbling mess. You rotated your body and started to kick at the eroding wall, hoping it would make the hole bigger. The crumbling brick started to fall apart, creating an entrance big enough to fit through.

_Finally._

A wave of relief surged through your mind and body. But that was short-lived. As you crawled through the tunnel you could hear blood-curdling shrieks. Standing up, you examined the room. It was the common room. You scanned the area of any lifeforms, none were alive. Dozens of bodies were sprawled out on the floor, wounds oozing with blood. Their faces were so...dull.

Another screech caught your attention, you followed the sound of commotion. Stealthily walking into the next room two bodies reached your line of vision. Except they were alive. One was looming over the other with an ignited lightsaber. 

Ben.

The other person was scurrying away from him, hitting the floor. Limb bodies surrounded him. You felt sick.

"Please-" the terrified man pleaded, "be the man I know you are."

_That voice sounded familiar._

A large piece of wood fell behind the unknown person, illuminating flames around the room. The flames shed light on his face, revealing who the man was.

_Tai._

Before thinking, you lunged forward from the door frame.

"Ben!" You stumbled behind him, attempting to grab his attention and maybe buy Tai some time to get the hell out of this mess. "Please don't hurt him." You heaved, both from nervousness and exhaustion.

He tilted his head in your direction, never fully turning around.

"You don't have to do this," you heavily exasperated. "Why are you doing this?" You had to somehow convince him to stop, one way or another.

But he ignored you. He only averted his attention to Tai and stalked towards to him, drawing his lightsaber closer. Tai had no other option than to just bustle backwards- and you panicked at that.

"Don't kill him, Ben," you hastily spoke. You'd much rather risk your life to save someone else. "Kill me." He wouldn't be able to kill you- not when you had your lightsaber. If you could distract him, Tai could get away.

He finally turned his focus on you, eyes locking on your small figure.

You never felt more petrified in your entire existence. His face had blood smeared all over, trickling down his lithe neck and onto his robes. His dark, long hair was tousled and was soaking wet. You slowly reached for your lightsaber, but your hand couldn't find it. You hastily looked down at your belt to find nothing there.

_You didn't have your lightsaber._

You looked back up. Ben's face conducted complete and utter terror to your body. His eyes were filled with rage and vengeance, nostrils flaring. Something you've never seen before. Before you could say something, Ben swiftly turned back around and violently sauntered towards Tai again. 

Within seconds Tai was dead.

Ben had lifted his weapon and sliced right through Tai's torso, blood spewing down his tan robes. He looked down at his wound and back up at Ben, his face etched with excruciating pain and sadness. Tai was Ben's longtime best friend- and now he was dead by the hands of his own companion. Your body began to convulse overwhelmingly, you couldn't control it. Tears rushed down your face. Your mouth opened but no words came out.

Without noticing, Ben had turned back around. Your little pity party had to come to an abrupt stop. Ben had lifted his saber, aiming to strike you down. Your feet moved before you could think, dodging his attack.

"Please-" you lifted your hands out in defense. "This isn't you. You're somebody else." Nothing would stop him from killing you.

_Nothing._

And somehow, someway that pained your heart. But this wasn't the time to become remorseful. You had to get the hell out of here. Ben had stalked over to you, attempting another strike. You dodged his attack again, sliding onto the rough concrete floor. You winced as the concrete bit and tore into your legs. You whipped your head around, only to see Ben lifting his saber past his shoulders. Your eyes caught his legs, a weakness. Rapidly, you threw your body at his legs, attempting to catch him off balance. Hearing a loud crash, you looked behind his heavy body on the floor. 

His lightsaber had fell out of his grasp.

You hurled your body at the ignited weapon, hoping to grab it. Before you could get to it, Ben had snatched the lightsaber. He briskly got up, striding over to your helpless, frozen form. His arms reached out to you, but you violently retaliated against him. Thrashing was all you could do. He harshly grabbed your wrists, twisting and pinning them around your abdomen. One of his large hands had grasped onto your hair, yanking it back and exposing your neck. His other arm had wrapped around your neck.

He put you in a choke hold.

Your airway was being cutoff. You started to choke on the saliva in the back of your throat, unable to breathe. Your arms had been locked behind you, you were completely vulnerable.

_This can't be real._

"I can make this quick," his arm had tighten around your small throat, "or I can make this long and painful." His breath tickled your ears, his voice unsteady.

You violently shook your head, desiring the former option. You could feel your face heat up from the lack of oxygen, purple painting your soft face. You struggled against him once more, one last time. You kicked your legs back and twisted your waist, trying to free your arms. 

It was futile.

You could feel Ben maneuvering behind you, the weapon still ignited in the hand that was holding your hair. The buzzing noise was the last thing you'd ever hear. Your vision was blurring and you could feel your eardrums bursting.

The lightsaber came into your line of vision, lowering down to your stomach.

"No-" You tried your best to speak. "Please, no. Don't do this." 

_This was the end._

The last thing you heard was Ben letting out a sinister chuckle, laughing at your pathetic pleas. "Sorry, darling."

_Darling?_

Before you could think any further, the weapon pierced your stomach. Impaling you. Killing you. The pain was impossible to bear. You felt blood pool around the beam of energy, spilling out onto the floor. His arm had loosened around your neck, red splotches decorating your lithe neck. He removed the lightsaber and let your body drop onto the ground. Your vision was nearly consumed by darkness, hope was what kept you alive. You almost had faith in yourself.

Almost.

Ben had lifted his weapon once more, past his shoulders. He gathered all the strength in his biceps and struck down on your powerless body.

You felt nothing. You were nothing. The abyss completely consumed your being.

\---

You let out a loud gasp.

Scrambling to recollect yourself. You panicked entirely, unsure of where you were. Your vision was foggy, glazed over with sleep. Your body was shaking, arms slouched over the table in front of you. Wiping the sleep out of your eyes, you looked around the room. Scanning it.

A small noise beside you reached your ears. You hastily gazed over to your left. Arlo. You sighed out in relief. She was resting her head on the booth, mouth slightly agape.

_Oh yeah._ _You were on a shuttle. To Batuu._

Your heart was still pounding from what you just experienced. Quite frankly you had no clue _what_ you just underwent. All you knew was that you were cold- and hungry. Letting out another sigh, you pushed and scooted yourself out of the tight booth. You made your way to the portable food bar, hoping to find something quick to eat. Opening the cabinets you searched for snacks. Moving bags and containers of food, nothing sounded good until you found a bag full of miniature space waffles. _Perfect._ You grabbed the snack and backed up, observing the transporter. 

Everyone was asleep, except one person.

Zinnia.

She was gazing out the window, hands clasped behind her back. Intimidating. Reserved. But that didn't stop you from walking over to her. You waltzed over to her, trying not to startle or wake anyone in the shuttle cabin. Standing next to her, you clasped your hands behind your back, mimicking her.

"Hey." You peeked over at her. Zinnia had strong facial features. A strong, pointed nose, high cheekbones, and plush lips that curled into a natural frown. Unlike before, her hair was down, the tips of her hair extended to the curve of her lower back.

She didn't say anything, just released a low hum of acknowledgement. Her eyes shifted to you- but only for a second. You averted your gaze towards the window, basking in the endless void of stars, planets, and moons. It was mesmerizing. The cabin was entirely silent, other than the light snoring resonating from your comrades and the soft buzzing of the transporter engine.

"So-" you awkwardly shifted your feet, "you excited about the mission?"

Zinnia was still, almost as if she didn't even hear you. "What would I be thrilled for?"

_Well that caught you off guard._

"Oh- well," you tripped over your own words, "I'm sure we can visit the cantina- or try some ethnic foods and-"

Zinnia let out a loud, irritated sigh. "This is a mission- not a vacation. We aren't here for our own pleasures, Apprentice."

You furrowed your eyebrows, confused by her aggressiveness. You were done with this conversation. "I should get back to my seat, we'll be landing soon." In all honesty you had no clue when you'd land, you just needed an excuse to get out of this strange exchange. Out of the corner of your eye you saw her nod in response.

Once you got back to your booth, you noticed that Arlo was already awake. She was peacefully looking out the window, idly admiring the galaxy beyond the glass. Her curly bangs draped across her forehead, slightly resting on her eyebrows. She was the embodiment of tranquil. And you envied her greatly.

Before you could say anything, Arlo noticed you standing in front of the booth. "Come sit down, darling." Her voice was sweet like honey. You froze at the words that came out of her mouth.

_Darling._

That's what Ben had called you- right before he _slaughtered_ you. Why did the universe hate you? What did any of this mean? It was probably just a coincidence. You were overthinking. You had no idea why it affected you so, _so_ much. Before Arlo could question you, you cleared your throat and pushed the thought to the back of your mind. 

_It didn't matter. It was just a dream._

You scooted into the booth, careful not to make too much of a ruckus. "You slept for so long." You let a giggle slip from your lips.

"Yeah, I barely got any sleep last night." Arlo shifted her body towards yours, giving you her undivided attention. "Did you get any sleep?"

"Yeah- yeah I slept for awhile." You didn't feel- nor did you _want_ to discuss your vivid dream. Not everything was about you and your problems.

"I heard that Batuu has a really good cantina," she brightly exclaimed.

"We'll stop by- maybe we'll be able to gather some intel too." Laughing, you continued, "the drunks can't seem to keep their secrets to themselves." You nudged her arm.

"Most definitely- plus we're staying in Black Spire Outpost, known for inhabiting traders and smugglers." She looked out the window again. "They must know _something_ about what the Order plans on doing with Batuu."

"They will," you tried your best to reassured her.

You both sat there in silence like many times before. It was the type of silence that blanketed the two of you in comfort. You looked out the window, and to your dismay you could see your destination in the corner of the window. The planet only got closer and closer. From what you could distinguish- it was beautiful, the planet was filled by green and flourish with large masses of blue. Your heart swelled up. You had never traveled this far into the galaxy, there was so much more to life than just D'Qar. And you just now realized that.

"Arlo! Look!" You shoved her shoulder- maybe a little too hard, evident by the loud grunt from her. _Oops._

"I have eyes of my own, asshole," she scolded you halfheartedly, laughing in the process. "It's lovely."

A small clicking noise resonated from the speakers on the walls before a voice spoke. "We will be landing shortly. Please stay seated." The pilot's voice woke up all the sleeping comrades. Some were cranky, some were alert.

The closer the transporter got to the planets atmosphere, the more it would shake and rumble. Soon enough the shuttle reached the mesosphere, descending at an alarming rate but slowly declining in speed. From this height you could make out buildings, trees, and mountains. The mountains were _huge,_ they reached all the way around the outpost. Batuu was littered with forestry and lakes.

Several minutes later, the aircraft had descended low enough for the wings to touch the ground, creating stability for landing. Arlo and you rushed out of the booths, excited to travel the populated town. With a strong poof of air, the large panel door opened up and created a makeshift ramp. Before sprinting out of the shuttle, a voice drew everyone's attention.

"The General has informed me to be the leader of this mission. We will be retiring to the Galactic Starcruiser hotel after the sun sets," Zinnia loudly informed everyone, "no one is allowed outside during sundown, it's dangerous." 

Everyone nodded- whether it was out of respect or the fact that this woman was scary as fuck.

"You may explore the town," Zinnia paused and gazed at you, "but you must gather as much intel as possible while staying undercover. Our weaponry team has aided us with daggers and blasters. Use them as a last resort." She exchanged looks from everybody before jogging down the ramp.

You pulled your cowl over your head, attempting to cover your face as much as possible. Looking over at Arlo you noticed she had a cloth covering her lower face. She grabbed a dagger and blaster and tucked it between her belt. Turning around she gave you a firm nod, signaling she was ready. You both slowly strolled down the ramp.

As soon your foot touched the ground, the heat of the sun beamed down on your head. You could practically _taste_ the food delicacies, the smell was irresistible. Up ahead, Caius and Kasen were walking together, chatting. Zinnia had already made it into town, secluding herself. You could hear the loud bustle of the outpost. Laughter, yelling, cursing.

"Come on, let's hurry up and get into town." Arlo had grabbed your hand and sprinted, tugging you along. She was obviously just excited as you.

Once you reached the entrance to the outpost, you both gasped. The town was so lively, filled with many different species, not one person looked the same. Even though the town was filled with dirty smugglers, traders, and explorers; the energy felt so serene. The bustling town had dozens of shops, restaurants, and parlors. Trees had overgrown into the outpost, spreading and flowing between buildings.

It almost surprised you that the First Order was _even_ here. It seemed so alive.

"Where should we go first?" Arlo's voice brought you back to reality.

"Food." That's all you could think of right now. "I'm in the mood for a crumpet," you had to practically yell at Arlo. It was impossibly loud.

She took your hand again and directed you ahead, into the town. Pushing and shoving past people was the most difficult part. Most people here were much, _much_ bigger than you. A handful of them were big, heavy men. _Gross._ But you didn't mind it, you were just thankful to experience this.

After several minutes of turning corners and thrusting people out of the way, Arlo brought you to your destination. You put a hand above your eyes, attempting to shield yourself from the sun and looked up at the big wooden sign.

_Amara's Bakery._

"How did you know about this place?" You tilted your head towards Arlo.

Arlo let out a loud chuckle, "I didn't! I was just draggin' you around until I found a bakery."

You deadpanned at her. _What an idiot._

You felt a small hand on your back, pushing you into the shop. The bakery was very cramped inside, the ceiling was high and had a fancy chandelier hanging from it. The line for the bakery was short, to your dismay. The two of you got behind everyone, politely waiting.

"Can't you use your special force powers and make this line quicker?" Arlo complained in a jokingly manner.

You shook your head, a smile tugging at your lips.

A loud crash resonating behind you from outside and before you could retaliate, Arlo had yanked you by the waist and pressed you against her. An attempt to protect you from the commotion. You both looked outside. Two reptile-like humanoids had caused a brawl- a common occurrence that happened in Black Spire Outpost. _Holy shit._

You stayed in Arlo's arms longer than you anticipated. "Sorry," backing up from her grasp. She just gave you a warm smile.

Before you knew it, Arlo and you were the next one's in line.

"What can I get you today." A small young Twi'lek was behind the counter, her smile spread from ear to ear.

"I'll take one of your strawberry crumpets and my friend will take-"

"I'll take one of your muja muffins!" Arlo finished your sentence with a cheerful tone.

The Twi'lek bent down, grabbing your orders from the display glass. She handed you to them. "That'll be 20 credits!"

_Shit._

You elbowed Arlo and whispered. "I don't have any credits."

"I got this one, don't worry." She reached into her pocket and tossed the credits to the young lady. "Keep the change!" She winked at the Twi'lek.

You and Arlo walked out, choosing to sit on a small bench outside the bakery. The sun was near to set already. "Hey, what time is it?" You questioned.

Arlo had looked down at her watch, "almost 0500," she looked over at you while taking a bite into her muffin. "Why?"

You shrugged, "That was an 8 hour flight."

Her eyes widened. "I slept 7 hours?" She screeched, freaking out.

Mouth full of food, all you could do was laugh. You slapped Arlo's arm, "stop, you're going to make me choke."

She rolled her eyes at your comment, proceeding to eat her pastry. You scanned your surroundings, you were still on duty so you couldn't play games the entire time. No stormtroopers were spotted- nor were there any officers around. And Kylo Ren was most definitely _not_ here.

_Interesting._

"Do you think the First Order is in disguise?" You hesitated for a moment, "like us?"

Arlo shook her head. "I'm not sure."

You groaned, taking the last bite out of your crumpet. Delicious.

Arlo had finished up at the same time as you. "How was it?" She peered over at you.

"Good" You wiped your hands off. "Yours?"

"Scrumptious" She replied in a high-pitched voice.

You both stood up in unison, pondering on what to do next. "The sun is getting low- where to next?" You turned your body towards hers. As if she was reading your mind, you both responded, "the cantina." Both of you let out a light chuckle.

Just like earlier, Arlo had grasped onto your delicate hand, leading you to the cantina. "How do you know where everything is?" She guided you straight to the bar in mere minutes.

"Just luck," she blatantly replied to you.

The cantina was coming into view, the blaring music was heard over the loud crowds of people. You could practically _feel_ the heat of bodies from the bar. This could end really well or really bad, there was no in between.

"You ready?" She had nudged you with her elbow, giving you a mischievous grin.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

And with that Arlo had yanked you into the building. A strong scent had invaded your nostrils. Sweat. Drugs. You cringed at the scent. The cantina was packed with all sorts of species. Besides the wretched smell and sweaty bodies, the bar was beautiful. The cantina was decorated with lights, strung out across the ceiling. There were dozens of booths littered around the building. In the middle there was the actual bar where an old, fat, angry humanoid man worked behind.

A small tug on your hand and Arlo was leading you to the bar, where two empty seats were waiting to be taken. You both took a seat, ready to be served drinks. You could barely hear anything, the blaring music and crowds of people partying being the cause. Without noticing, the humanoid had stalked up to you both.

"What can I get you." His tone was much, _much_ harsher than the Twi'lek's back at the bakery. He was missing several teeth and quite frankly- he reeked of alcohol. _Looks like someone got into their own booze._

"I'll take a Breath of Heaven, please" Arlo curtly requested.

You started to panic. You had no clue what alcoholic beverages they had, because you've never _had_ a drink before. _Oh my stars-_

"And the frantic young lady will take a Pink Nebula." She gazed over at you winked.

The bartender grunted and limped off to make the drinks.

"What in the galaxy _did_ you order for me," you scoffed at her.

"Hey! for one thing I saved your ass," she teased you, "and let's just say I ordered you something a little strong." She menacingly snickered at her own resolve.

As soon as you were about to scold Arlo, the man returned back with the two drinks in hand. He violently sat them down and grunted. "That'll be 50 credits." Arlo groaned and smashed the credits onto the bar table. He snatched the currency and waddled back to his station.

The drink in front of you was a pretty color of blue and faded off into a white shade, sugar lined the rim of the glass. It was fizzling and smelled _amazing._ Arlo on the other hand was already chugging down her beverage, taking giant swigs at an alarming rate. Eyes widening, you gulped.

_Well damn._

You lifted the glass to your lips, hesitantly taking a small sip. The mix of sugar and alcohol blended _perfectly_ together. The beverage left a small stinging sensation in the back of your throat, but you enjoyed it. Taking another sip, you closed your eyes. _If drinking alcohol is like this all the time, then I'll gladly have it more often._

"You like it?" Arlo had shouted.

You nodded vigorously. "It's amazing."

Arlo had already finished her drink. She lifted her hand and flagged down the bartender. "We'll take two more!" Minutes later the man had sauntered towards you both, handing you both your drinks and requesting more credits. Arlo reluctantly gave the man her money.

"I am _not_ going to be able to walk out of here," you giggled. You slid the glass over towards you. Picking it up, you took a big swig of the drink, mimicking Arlo's behavior. The flavor was so sweet yet so bitter. The stinging sensation in the back of your throat only made you want more. Lazily peering over at your companion, she had already gulped down her drink. _Damn._

A small commotion was heard beside you, you turned your head in the direction. A man had situated himself next to you. "Hello," you politely greeted him.

"Hello, young lady." He gave you a slight smile and a nod. The man had long, blonde hair that reached the nape of his neck. His eyes were a fiery shade of brown, the whites of his eyes were slightly bloodshot.

"What's your name?" You were intrigued by this man.

"That doesn't matter, sweetheart." He turned down your question in the most sweet tone. For a split second- his face flashed an emotion, it was almost feral. But he quickly wiped it from his face. "What are you doing here? At Black Spire Outpost of all places?"

"I'm just visiting for vacation." You lied through your teeth. _Oh nothing! Just gathering intel on the galaxy's most powerful organization!_

"Sounds lovely."

You took another sip of your drink. "What brings you here?"

He hesitated for a second. "Just on a business trip with my crew," he pointed across the cantina to a group of men in similar attire as his.

"Interesting." You peered over at the group of men , their gaze never wavering from yours. _Suspicious._ "Well- you should probably get back to your mates, I don't want to hold you up."

He nodded in acknowledgment. "It was a pleasure to meet you." He abruptly got up from his seat, waving you goodbye.

_That was strange._

You chugged down the rest of your Pink Nebula. The familiar prickling sensation invaded your mouth in the most delicious way.

"The hell was that about?" Arlo slurred on her words.

Shrugging your shoulders, you looked over at the group. They were studying you. "Hey- why don't we go dance?"

Arlo let out a loud chuckle. "What?"

"Yeah! Come on." You got up from your seat, grabbing her arm and dragging her towards the dance floor. 

The area was crowded with sweaty, drunk bodies. You tugged Arlo towards the center, placing her hands on your waist. You rested your hands on her shoulder. You both laughed and giggled as the alcohol wore off ever so slightly. The blaring music made it impossible to think- but you didn't mind it. It felt like you and Arlo were the only ones in the room. _Just you and her._ You bounced around with her for so long, feeling absolutely euphoric. Sweat beaded on your forehead, trickling down your temples.

"We gotta get outta here before we get too drunk." You slurred at Arlo. "Remember we're on the job." You whispered into her ear.

She nodded her head. Arlo didn't seemed drunk, not after two drinks. But you on the other hand- you were slightly buzzed. She got up and put a hand around your shoulder, guiding you out the doors. The moon had risen, and the streets of Black Spire Outpost had thinned out.

"It's dark out-" you hiccuped. "Shouldn't we go back to the hotel?"

Arlo's eyes were looking forward, pondering in thought. "Not yet. I have something to show you."

_Oh great._

You didn't question her any further. You hummed a tune, your voice replacing the silence that cascaded on the almost empty streets. The walk felt like forever, but soon enough the shops had become less consistent. The trees that cut through the buildings were now more common than the actual buildings. She was bringing you to a forest. The farther you walked, the more wildlife you heard chirp and screech. The moon was so bright- it lit up the forest in a blue haze.

The scenery was alluring.

Soon enough you both stumbled upon a clearing with a large blue lake in the middle. The clearing was filled with several different species of flower and foliage. Your mouth was agape in shock. You could see so much wildlife on the outskirts of the clearing, hiding behind the thick, tall trees. A small deer was watching you both from across the lake, cautious. Birds had flown above you both. Tiny fireflies flickered around the area.

"Where did you find this place, Arlo?" You were baffled. "Holy shit."

"Come sit down," her voice portraying so much emotion. "I've got to tell you something."

You both walked down to the lake, sitting near the edge. The tall grass almost consumed you both, tickling your legs.

You gazed over at her. "What is it?"

She took a long, deep breath. "I know you tell me everything- and you trust me enough."

You hesitantly nodded, waiting for her to continue.

"But I haven't told you _everything_ about myself." She looked down and played with her fingers.

"Arlo, just say it already," you grew impatient.

"I wasn't born at the base." Her eyes shot up at you, waiting for your response.

"What does that even-"

"I was raised here," she hesitated, "in Black Spire Outpost. I was sold for labor and was raised here by the owner of the bakery, and once I earned enough credits I fled on a transporter. I was a scavenger for so long- until General Organa found me."

"So you lied to me?" Your voice showcased disbelief.

"I don't know why I did it-" her voice was wavering, "I just wanted you to accept me. I didn't want you to pity me or anything."

You shook your head vigorously. "You didn't have to lie. I would've accepted you no matter what, you dumb ass." You laughed in doubt.

"I was young and stupid- and scared," she painfully admitted.

"So that's how you knew where everything was," you let a grin reach your lips.

She hummed in response.

You shook your head in disagreement- but said nothing. You both just stared at your own reflection in the lake. Silence submerging your existence. The sounds of bugs and birds chirping filled the void. In your reflection you could see the night's sky. The stars painted the dark horizon above you, twinkling. You felt so insignificant compared to the vast, endless space.

Before thinking you spoke, "I really enjoyed today."

"I did as well," she giggled for the first time in awhile.

You looked up at the sky, eyes wide. You let your back fall onto the plush grass, your legs sprawled out. Beside you, Arlo shuffled around. She had laid down with you, mimicking your position. Everything felt _so_ perfect. The sound of her breathing, the birds chirping, the wind gently hitting the trees.

Out of the corner eye you could see Arlo peering over at you. Mirroring her, you gazed back. An unknown tension building up like before. In the showers. All the sudden you felt conscious of yourself, you averted your gaze from her. She was your lifelong companion- why would you feel this way? Pondering on that question, your eyebrows scrunched up. You never experienced affection when you were younger. Or at least not enough. Arlo was the only person to show you compassion. Love was such a foreign emotion for you- fondness and compassion was your only rapture. It all made sense now. The lack of parenting. The lack of affection. The lack of _love_.

_You were scared of intimacy._

You felt a soft hand being placed on your cheek, turning your head back to her. Arlo had cupped your cheek, catching your attention. Her dark eyes swirled with so much sentiment, so much meaning. Her mouth opened ever so slightly, as if she was going to say something- but she closed it as quickly as she opened it. She propped one of her arms up on the grass, getting a better angle. Her eyes searched something in you. Acceptance. Her eyes flickered to your hair, then to your cheeks, then to your nose, and lastly to your lips. She peered back at your eyes.

For some reason you scooted closer to her, something was drawing you in- just like the night at the showers. Your eyes softened, waiting for something- _anything_ to happen. You lifted your hand to cup her cheek, reciprocating her gesture. The tension between the two of only thickened. It was intoxicating. It was excruciating. This time your eyes flickered around Arlo's face. Admiring her long eyelashes that scattered around her eyes, then her button-like nose, and lastly her plump lips that were dusted in freckles. From far proximity it was hard to see them- but up close you could see all of them, they nearly blended in with her dark skin. You would never get tired of her face.

"We shouldn't do this." Your voice was barely audible, but you knew she heard you.

"It doesn't matter anymore."

And with that you pressed your lips to hers. You weren't sure if it was on impulse or not- but it wasn't a mistake. She didn't waste another second to reciprocate your actions. The kiss was not drawn in by lust or sadness- it was full of passion. And that's what you both needed. Her lips molded wonderfully into yours. You lifted your unoccupied hand to her other cheek, stroking her skin. Without disconnecting from the kiss, you pushed yourself off the grass and straddled her hips. Needing to catch your breath, you pulled away from her. Her eyes glistened under the moonlight. Without another thought Arlo tugged you back in, kissing you delicately. One of your hands trailed up to her hair, giving it a gentle tug. Deepening the kiss, Arlo's hand caressed your shoulder. _Everything felt surreal._

"Put your hands up!" Multiple voices shouted in authority, scaring the living shit out of you both.

The two of you briskly got off of each other, jumping to your feet in hopes of not getting hurt. Arlo and you turned around, away from the lake and towards the owner of the voices. You both exchanged confused glances, cheeks still flushed.

"Um-" you stuttered on your own words, "have we done something wrong?"

"It's her." The man in the middle spoke into a transmitter. _It was him. The guy from the bar._ "What should we do with them in the meantime?" A deep voice responded from the device, but you couldn't understand him. His voice was muffled. "Yes, sir."

"What the hell is going on?" This time Arlo was the one to speak, arms still raised.

The man exchanged looks to the several other men, nodding. "Keep them immobile until he arrives." And with that, two of the men grabbed restraints from their jackets.

"What-" before you could finish your sentence, Arlo got out her blaster, aiming it towards the suspicious group. Her eyes were wild- insane. They conveyed so much anger, fear, and determination.

"You are _not_ touching any of us," her voice was alarmingly low and steady- but her hand said otherwise.

You felt so conflicted. Unsure if you should get out your lightsaber or not. You couldn't risk exposing yourself, but you also couldn't let Arlo fight alone. You felt so idiotic for not grabbing a blaster.

You nudged her arm and whispered, "Arlo, please. We don't stand a chance against them."

"So you're just going to let them capture us? Are you insane?" She frantically muttered to you.

"Listen to your friend, girl." The man from the bar spoke in a cocky tone.

Within a second Arlo shot her blaster, missing the man by _inches._ As if they were expecting that sort of reaction, all the men got out their blasters. The two men with the restraints sprinted over, attempting to capture you both. Arlo shot from her blaster again. This time she hit the side of the man's shoulder, grazing it. But that didn't stop him. He threw a punch at her, hitting her square in the jaw. The other man was aiming to yank your arm back, but you retaliated. Throwing a punch at his face, you felt the impact from the side of his face on your knuckles. He backed up and charged at you. You dodged his messy attacks again, kicking his gut in the process.

Arlo on the other hand was less successful, she was dealing with a stronger, more muscular man. She was struggling to keep the man off of her, throwing kicks and punches his way. He was relentless, barely flinching at her assaults. Arlo took a deep, exaggerated groan and threw a punch towards his jaw. To her dismay, the man had caught her fist in his palm. It felt like an eternity until the man did something. With a loud crack, the man twisted and contorted Arlo's wrist, snapping it. Her hand went limp. She let out a blood-curdling scream, so loud the entire outpost could probably hear her. The man let go of her wrist, she bent down and cradled her wounded hand. With her being distracted, the man used that to his advantage. He kicked her in the ribs for good measure and snatched her arms. He twisted her arms behind her back, securing the restraints on her wrists.

That caught you off guard. You swiftly turned your head towards her direction, witnessing the gruesome scene. The man beside you delivered a blow towards your stomach, bringing you to the ground. _Prick._

Before you could get back up, another man rushed towards you. You wouldn't stand a chance against two, but you could not give up- not yet. One of the men yanked you up, striving to restrain you like Arlo. With your free hand, you grabbed the man's head and smashed it against yours. _Ouch._ He stumbled back and sheltered his head. The other man kicked the back of your legs, causing you to fall to the ground. He wrapped his arms around your neck, putting you in a headlock. You felt so dizzy- and exhausted.

The man from before stalked back up to you. Giving him a menacing glare, you spat at him. He grabbed the restraints and locked your wrists behind your back.You felt trapped.The man behind you unraveled his arms from your neck. He gave you a harsh push and directed you up the hill, to the man from the bar. Arlo was already in front of him, on her knees with her head down.

_Defeated._

You sat down on your knees next to Arlo. "What the fuck do you want from us," you spat at the man.

He was quick to respond, "that doesn't concern you."

"The fuck is does!" You furrowed your eyebrows at him. The man didn't say anything, just stared at you. 

You peered over at Arlo. She had blood running down her nose and mouth, bruising already forming. She got it a lot worse than you. You felt disgusting. Your hair was tangled and sweaty. You could feel blood trickling down to the curve of your lips. Head pounding and body aching and bruised, you just wanted to _sleep._ You let your head swing down, trying your hardest to rest for _whatever_ is to come. How could you let yourself get caught? _You should've listened to Zinnia._

The sound of heavy footsteps ripped you from your thoughts. You raised your head back up, looking in the direction you heard the noise come from. Several feet away, there were multiple men prowling towards you. In white armor. With weapons. Stormtroopers. And in the middle there was a tall, broad man dressed in black head to toe who _oozed_ authority, his face was shielded with a mask. Kylo Ren.

_No, no, no-_

"Supreme Leader," the men said in unison, bowing their heads. "We have collected the rebel scums."

You immediately looked down, avoiding any eye contact.

His footsteps only became louder- and closer. "You were sure hard to find," the man you despised the most stepped in front of you both.

"What do you plan on doing with them, sir?" The man from the bar cockily questioned, a smirk smeared across his face.

It was minutes before Kylo Ren responded. "Take the one on the right back to her hotel, let the Resistance know we found their little spies," his voice sinister, "and for this one- we're taking her."

You felt your heart stop- shatter. "You can't do this-" you shrieked, "why are you doing this?"

"You're a threat," he nonchalantly spoke, voice modulator echoing through the forest.

Arlo lifted her head up for the first time, glaring at the Supreme Leader. "Go fuck yourself."

"Take her back, officers."

And at that, the officers yanked Arlo up. She fought back, thrashing around as best as she could. "No!" One of the men kneed her in the stomach- for the umpteenth time.

"Let us go," you shouted as loud as you could. You hoisted yourself up, one foot at a time. Before you could run after Arlo, one of the stormtroopers grabbed your restrained arms. Tears welled in your eyes, you felt your emotions crumble beneath you. Anger. Agony. Terror.

"I'll come back for you," Arlo's voice broke as she wailed out to you, "I'll slaughter you all!"

Chills ran up your skin. It wasn't cold out- but your body was drained of blood. You were so scared. The officers dragged Arlo away. She became a blurred speck before she became nothing. The thick trees consumed her. You shut your eyes as hard as you could, hoping this was all a dream. You just wanted to go back to Amara's Bakery, where everything felt pleasant. Her warm, homely smile was now replaced with her beaten, bloodied, and bruised face that was stained with tears. You just wanted to see her smile one more time.

"I'll see you soon," you whispered to her even though she was too far away.

A black mass came into your vision. Your eyes conveyed so much hostility and loathing. Just for him. He ruined everything. He knelt down to your level, mask reflecting your face. A gust of air hit your face, invading your nostrils. He smelled of blood and dirt. You looked worse than you expected. A large bruise harbored your forehead, spreading down to your eyebrow. Blood was smeared all across your face, lip busted. But that didn't stop you from spitting at his mask.

"Get the fuck away from me," you snarled at him, voice dangerously low.

A large, gloved hand was raised to your face, flinching you closed your eyes. You cursed at yourself for feeling afraid of him, but at this point you felt so vulnerable. When nothing happened you pried your eyes open, his hand still hovering over your face.

"Get my ship ready," he spoke lowly to his troopers. They immediately jogged back to the town. Before you could make another remark towards him, he moved his hand closer and tilted his head. "Sleep well, Apprentice."

_Fuck. He knew-_

Darkness completely and utterly invaded your senses. Your body went limp and fell forward. Your eyes instantly shut, but your mind was still awake. Only for a couple seconds. You succumbed to the abyss. Finally. Sleep blanketed your body, feeling at ease.

You felt nothing. You were nothing. The abyss completely consumed your being.


End file.
